She tells me many women fantasise about submission. Is Shibari reinforcing the idea of women as passive sex objects? "Those are just the images that get popularised - it's a reflection of the fantasies people have," says Anna. She says, "for me it's more a sensual thing - the sensations on your skin, the intimacy you can have with your partner." She adds that she finds the studio calming, echoing Ben who's, "glad it's not a dungeon."īut while the class seems pretty innocuous, when I Google image search shibari, I'm hit by an abundance of naked women suspended from ceilings, trussed up with their legs tied apart, orifices available for penetration (including their mouths, which are sometimes held open with a gag type contraption). "It looked like something you could nerd out on, that would be fun to learn together as an alternative to movie night." How has it impacted their relationship? "It's improved it, in that we've got more to do - but our relationship didn't need rescuing," says Ben, "it didn’t need spicing up - it was spicy already!" I ask Bella if shibari turns her on. I was tired and stressed, but now that's disappeared." It was Ben who saw a friend's shibari snap on Facebook. That's the best part," says Ben, "especially today. He tells me he liked being tied because, "I like being touched gently," and he enjoyed the tying because, "I like the artistic side of the knots." Photo: Bones and Ropeīen and Bella also switch, "we take turns to practise on each other. She explains, "I want to learn the skills and technique, so I can tie other people, so they can experience it as well." Paul also identifies as a switch. She tells me later, "I enjoyed being tied up - I liked the sense of touch, and squeezing, and the rope brushing past my skin." She also enjoyed tying her partner, another woman she met that night. Committed to experiencing the full shibari shebang, I stand in the spot designated for switches - and find myself jostling for space with about 80% of the class.Įllie, who's 41, is here for the first time. "Now go over there if you want to be tied, over there if you want to tie, and over there if you're a switch!" A switch is someone who is happy to both tie and be tied. "Go to this end of the room if you're a cat person, and that end if you're a dog person," says Anna. The session starts with a few ice-breakers to get us chatting to different people. Can't you just have a cuddle? Ben, who's been to several classes, explains, "Anna and Fred talk about the rope being an extension of your hands, so if you've got lots of rope, it's like you're giving them the biggest hug." Ben is here with his girlfriend Bella, who adds, "it's like hugs with bruises!" Photo: Anna Bones at Anatomie "Our relationship didn’t need spicing up - it was spicy already!" I understand the need for closeness - I'm just not sure why there've got to be ropes involved. "I like being close to someone," adds Paul. "You're touching another person, they're touching you and it feels nice." As humans, we crave to be touched, and that's what rope is," Anna explains. "I like the closeness - connecting and having a conversation with another person through physical movement. "I was looking online for kinky activities and I found this event called Peer Rope London. Shibari is, "geeky, very brainy, and it can be very intellectual," says Anna, who discovered it five years ago, towards the end of her PhD at UCL. I'd probably put money on at least one of the guys running a pop-up Beard Bar in Nunhead, selling artisan moustache wax made of oils secreted from his girlfriend's scalp during a head massage from monks in Tibet. In fact, if you wandered in before anyone was bound, you might mistake the Rope Jam for a yoga class, such is the predilection for Lululemon leggings and loose printed cotton trousers getting an airing between Goa and Glasto. I am pleased about this, because I'd rather not be bound with a rope that's rubbed against someone's backside.īut the attire isn't all leather and latex. While participants are welcome to be naked, (" since nudity isn't unsafe we simply don't have a rule for it") everyone keeps their kit on. "It comes from sado-masochistic porn in Japan," says Anna Bones, who runs the Peckham based studio with her boyfriend Fred Hatt. Shibari, for the uninitiated, is Japanese rope-binding, which is a form of bondage.
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